


Tumblr Prompts

by A_Lucy_Goose



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Childbirth, Children, F/M, Fem!Pyro, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Polyamory, Pregnancy, stupid mentions of possible beastiality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-24 09:22:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 17,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2576354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Lucy_Goose/pseuds/A_Lucy_Goose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where I put my Sniper/Pyro and sometimes Spy/Pyro/Sniper and Spy/Sniper short prompts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. usedtobehmc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **usedtobehmc said:** Sniper is having a really rough day. Is he injured? Did he get bad news from home? Whatever it is, Spy and Pyro conspire to make him feel better.

“Mmeeese?” Though he couldn’t see them with the bloody mask in the way he could just as well imagine those odd eyes of hers all big and round with a vague sheen of moisture behind the tinted glass as she pleaded.

Sniper groaned exasperated and rubbed at the bridge of his nose, pushing up his aviators, “Py you can’t do this to me right now. I just wanna go to bed alright?”

Pyro was having absolutely none of that however as the thick rubber glove curled around his wrist tighten just a hair. Before he could protest further, the shorter mercenary was already rather insistently pulling him in the opposite direction of his camper. The little nutter was stronger than she looked. Sniper was tempted to snatch his hand away and fling an insult or two vicious enough that even his spacey teammate would realize that he meant business but the words caught in his throat. Instead, he allowed himself to be pulled along as Pyro lead him who knew where.

She had said ‘please’ after all.

It hadn’t been that great of a day for the Sniper. The culmination of a pretty crap week if you asked him. His aim had been off all day. His kill rate suffering greatly for it. It was noticeable enough that Soldier had practically pulled him through the ringer for it after today’s match. He’d been indignant of course in a pathetic effort to save face but deep down he felt that he’d more than deserved it.

He should have been more focused. He should have been able to detach himself. It was an embarrassment that he’d allowed himself to be so distracted during his work. It was just plain unprofessional.

His only reprieve had been that this day would soon be over and he could get up tomorrow and start all over again putting this failure behind him. Pyro, however, was not interested in helping him achieve this plan. Stewing as he was in his own frustration, he didn’t even realize where it was that Pyro was taking him until they were in a dark secluded corner of a hallway he couldn’t recall ever darkening before.

“Py look I really need ta…”

He was interrupted however by his kidnapper removing her mask.

“Why didn’t you tell us you moron?” Pyro said flinging open a door he didn’t recognize and pushing him inside. “Spy had to figure it out on his own and then tell me.”

“Surprise, Bushman.” Inside Spy stood apparently awaiting their arrival if the modest decorations (and was that a cake?) were anything to go by.

“Surprise!” Pyro yelled jumping up and down and clapping before wrapping her arms around him from behind.

The tension in his body melted away almost immediately.

“You sneaky little rats! How the hell…”

“Please you are not nearly as enigmatic as you think you are, mon cher,” Spy rolled his eyes though his expression softened quickly after. “Now come. Our dear Pyro has spent all day preparing a most decadent confection just for you.”  

Behind him Pyro’s chuckles vibrated against his back, “Yeah and I’m gonna eat my piece off your…”

“Pyro! Patience, peu luciole or you will ruin the rest of our beloved’s surprise.”

Sniper’s surprised laughter was loud and boisterous. Leave it to these to two to still be able to completely catch him off guard.

It would be the first birthday he’d ever spent without his parents but that didn’t mean it had to be his worse. It had been downright foolish of him to have ever thought that either of his lovers would have ever allowed that to happen.

“Happy Birthday, Monsieur Mundy.”

“Happy Birthday, Mickey!”

“Yeah…” He said, voice soft and a tinged with a gratefulness he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to properly convey, “Happy Birthday to me.” 

 


	2. ontheaventine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **ontheaventine said:** Pyro (or Sniper) is sick and needs some loving care. :3

The sound of the crackling fire and the repetitive, steady motion of his hand as it turned the spoon in the tin pot were soothing enough that Sniper almost hadn’t realized he was being approached until they were almost upon him.

“Doc. Truckie…” He paused gritting his teeth a little, “Scout.”

“Heya, Slim. Ya got a minute?”

“Sure. I got a few,” he looked up squinting at the three men, his hand never stopped stirring. “What can I help ya with?”

“Yeah, look man, where the hell is, Py?” Scout started as the first opportunity. “You ain’t killed ‘em and fileted his ass have ya?” The kid was leaning over to get a look in the pot, his nosed turned up, buck teeth peeking past his lips.

“Boy! What the hell is wrong with you?” The Engineer said as he nearly smacked the hat off of Scout’s head.

Medic rolled his eyes, “Herr Sniper, I am sure you understand we are merely concerned. It had been three days now and there has been no sign of Herr Pyro. I assume that he is in your care?”

“’e is.” Sniper said simply. “A bit under the weather but he’s improvin’. Should be good to go in a day or two.”

“Hm. The last I heard he seemed to had developed a rather severe cough.”

“Yeah. That’s seemed to have passed for the most part.”

“Well, we were hoping that the Doc here could get a look at ‘im,” Engie spoke then. “You know just to make sure he’s going alright and on the road the recovery. I’d uh hate for him to be suffering for no reason.”

“No offense, Doc, but ya know Py doesn’t much care for you. Nothing personal of course.”

“Of course. We all know how secretive our dear Pyro can be.” The arched eyebrow and smirk didn’t go unnoticed by the marksman. “Rather stubborn as well. Ah well. I suppose it was worth a try. Here you are then. See to it that he continues his regimen, bitte.” Medic handed over another dark brown bottle to replace the one that was just about empty in the camper.

“Will do.”

The Engineer didn’t look nearly as satisfied with this turn of events as the doctor however but he didn’t press the matter. Sniper could understand. The man did have a tendency to worry and Pyro had never been the exception. His attachment to the little firebug only caused him to fret even more where they were concerned. They were a bit of team out there on the battle field for the most part. Not having Pyro around to help watch his back over the past few days must have been disorienting.

Sniper had done his best to keep an eye on the Engineer when he could but he there was only so much he could do when he had his own back to cover as well as do his job out there.

He also knew he wasn’t the Engineer’s first choice when it came to looking after the health and well fair of his sick friend seeing as he admittedly had a history of being a bit lackadaisical where his own health was involved. If Pyro was tough for the doctor to get a hand on Sniper was just as bad if not worse. Though, he supposed that was up for debate.

“Hey, I got this recipe for chicken soup. Mama’s specialty. Great for a cold. How about I whip up a batch and bring over a later?” The shorter man offered.

“I’m sure Py would like that. Thanks, Truckie.”

Sniper smiled a bit choosing to ignore the fact that soup was the very thing he was tending to on the fire at the moment. It was fine. It kept him from having to come up with dinner for them later and he’d never been one to pass up free food. Especially not Truckie’s cooking. At least the frown the other man had been wearing had subsided for the time being.

“Ya gotta be kidding me?” Scout, amazingly, had by some miracle been able to keep a lid on it all this time finally exploded. “We’re getting our asses handed to us out there and you guys are just gonna leave things to, Camper Van M.D.? No offense, Snipes,” he said before continuing to be rather offensive. “That back stabbin’ rat Spy is having a frickin’ field day with our asses now that he knows Py’s outta commission.”

“Can’t be helped, kid,” Engie was again the voice of reason. “Can’t ask a sick man to put on a suit that heavy and lug around gear like Pyro does when he can barely stand up without losing his lunch. Egh. Don’t wanna know what that’d be like with that mask of his.”

“Right.” Sniper cringed in even the thought. They all did.

“You gotta a least try to get ‘im to the see the doc, man! What about the medigun! I see you piece a guy’s arms an’ legs back on with that thing. It’s gotta be able to cure a case of the sniffles. Py’ll go for that right? Won’t even have to come out of his hidy hole for that.”

“Unfortunately, the mediguns were never intended for something like this,” Medic sighed. Sniper could tell the man’s patience was starting to wear a bit thin. The doc had never really had much of a bedside manner and Scout to test the resolve of even the calmest man. “We will just have to make do until it passes. Now, if you’ll excuse me I do have other matters to tend to.”

Scout groaned dramatically but relented for now, “Frickin’ waste of time.”

The doc and engineer had already started back toward the base but Scout lingered around for a while longer. He looked a little uncomfortable but he was trying to hide it. “Look, uh, man I know that like Py can be a little tough to get to do well… like normal things… but just… uh make sure he stays hydrated and stuff. And gets plenty of rest or whatever. And tell ‘em I said if he’s not back by the end of the week I’ll drag ‘em him through respawn myself.”

Sniper grinned a little at that. He’d like to see the kid try. “Yeah. I’ll get right on that, mate.”

“Y-yeah, you do that.” And just like that Scout was jogging off to catch up with the other two.

Sniper was sure he’d be back however. He’d probably come sniffing around with Truckie again later. He sat and watched the three of them disappear into the base again before he decided that the soup was hot enough now.

The interior his camper was cool and dark, so dark in fact he almost didn’t realize that lump that had been in his bed had migrated to the bench seat and table. Pyro was wrapped up in a thick comforter and staring blankly at the table top.

“Doc come round looking for ya,” Sniper said as he rummaged through his cupboard for a bowl. “Truckie too. Guys are missing you out there. We need ta get you on your feet again before Scout signs up to be your nurse, mate.”

A small snort could be heard behind him and he grinned.

“Well, I guess I could use a sponge bath,” Pyro’s voice sounded a more fried than usual but at least she could talk again.

“None of that! S'my job.” Sniper set the bowl of soup he’d painstakingly been tending to outdoor in front of her. “Here eat up while it’s hot.”

She pulled the blanket back in order to eat. He could see that her curly hair was flat in some places and sticking up in others. The already dark circles around her eyes had gotten darker over the last few days. She had been up coughing more often than sleeping the first days. The medicine knocked her out for the most part but it wasn’t as restful a sleep as he could have hoped for. Despite that there had been marginal improvement here and there. He’d been telling the truth. The coughing was pretty much under control now.

It was still a bit frustrating. He had never been the nurturing type really and he’d been surprised Pyro had trusted him with her health at all really but well he seemed to be the only one she really trusted around here with most things.

“How ya feeling, love?”

“Better,” Pyro took a small sip from the bowl and Sniper couldn’t help but be pleased when she didn’t seem to find it unpalatable. “I guess the other team’s spy is giving you guys a hard time?”

“I got it covered.” He really didn’t but he didn’t need her worrying about that right now. “You just focus on getting back on your feet, yeah? In the meantime, I’ll do the fighting for the both of us.”

Pyro smiled into her soup. He supposed this nurturing thing wasn’t too hard when you put your heart into it.


	3. usedtobehmc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **usedtobehmc said:** Pyro orders Sniper and Spy around, or gives them explicit sexing instructions. muaahaha!

It was surprisingly difficult for the three of them to find the time to get together like this even with all of Spy’s training and gadgets, Pyro’s inexplicable skill in the art of stealth, or Sniper’s well documented penchant for extended periods of seclusion. When it came to the three of them it never failed that at least one of them would be prevented in some irritating way from participating in their much needed alone time. Though it made sense. It was hard enough for two of them to sneak around without it drawing suspicion, as such, it was nearly impossible for the three of them to disappear for too long without someone noticing.

Which made every moment the three of them could somehow find together all the more precious. Which was kind of why Spy was starting to become a little jealous of just how long Sniper and Pyro had been ‘sucking face’ as it were. It certainly didn’t help that he was currently scrunched up in between the two of them. Though, Pyro’s breasts were a rather comfortable head rest, being surrounded by his lovers’ warmth was maddening when he didn’t have the opportunity to participate. So, as any man would, he did what he had to do.

“Mmmph!” Pyro sputtered around the thankfully gloveless fingers that had pushed into their mouth and shoved them backward away from Sniper’s.

“Seriously?” Sniper didn’t seemed to be pleased by this course of events either however the hand pressing firmly into the center of his chest was keeping him at bay.

“My apologies. I was under the impression that this was a ménage à trois and not a ménage à duex.” Spy may or may not have been pouting here. Not that he’d ever admit that he was anyhow.

The chorus of vaguely condescending ‘Aww’s did nothing to assuage his flagging ego.

“C’mon, love. Don’t be that way. We were just getting to you.”

Sniper’s grin was annoyingly infectious. Though Spy was able to stop himself for going beyond a pleased smirk when the man who’s long legs he was currently lounging between ran his large hands down his bare thighs just as Pyro cupped his face in theirs. Pyro giggled around the fingers still in their mouth and leaned down, prompting Spy to remove them in time for the curly haired mercenary to plant a noisy kiss onto his thin lips. Surprisingly soft hands smoothed down the sides of his for once bare face and he relaxed into his lovers’ touches like a contented cat.

“There. That’s better,” he hummed and settled back down comfortably between the warm, naked bodies surrounding him. All of them smelled of the rather expensive soap he’d scrubbed them down with in the shower they’d had earlier and it was heaven.  

“Spoiled rotten this one is,” Sniper chuckled as he hands continued to smooth up Spy’s splayed thighs and up to his belly and chest. “He’s liable to start purring any minute now, eh?”

He looked up at Pyro who had started scratching through the dark gray speckled hair on Spy’s head loosening up shower damp strands that were usually covered by the thankfully discarded mask.

Spy returned the favor by reaching up into Pyro’s hair as well. He could certainly see what they enjoyed so much about having their hair toyed with it. It was deceptively and deeply relaxing. He would have thought that allowing someone so deadly so close to his face would be anything but somehow these two had weaseled their way into his up until recently nonexistent inner circle of trust. Though, it had been worrying at first—actually still was if he was being honest—he was coming to terms with this change of heart.

Pyro’s hand wandered further down Spy’s chest into the sparse hair there and scratched through it as Sniper’s hand trailed lower again, down belly and thighs, and pointedly avoided the older man’s erection. Spy arched up impatiently into their caresses and growled in frustration. A devious looking smile emerged on the Pyro’s face when they locked eyes with Sniper.

“C’mere,” Pyro’s voice was a deep rasp to which Sniper readily obliged.

Pyro had found that Spy was right about quite a few things when it came to the Aussie assassin. Sniper was an obedient and generous lover. It hardly took much to convince him to follow direction if it meant pleasing either of them. It was even more pleasing that he seemed to derive so much pleasure from it for himself as he did so. It was a rather surprising and endearing trait.

Sniper leaned forward, his long body easily covered the space between him and Spy and then between him and Pyro. Pyro gifted him with another long and sloppy kiss for being so responsive before they directed him to Spy whose head still lay against their bare chest. Spy’s free hand was soon also buried in the dark hair of his other lover as they too kissed. Pyro watched them with wide, curious eyes.

Spy was such a carnal creature. He seemed to immerse himself fully and joyously in nearly everything he did. It was something Pyro could fully relate to. When they were together Spy always made them feel like they were the only other people in the world. It wasn’t just charm and trickery though. Pyro would be foolish to think that he wasn’t entirely capable of such, it was something they truly believed. And if there was one thing Pyro knew it was people.

Pyro had spent so much time on the outside of most of their teammates’ interactions that it had made it easy to fall back into the role of observer. Sniper and Spy had always been so beautiful together. Even before they had been invited into their bed, Pyro had regularly stolen glances at moments they thought they had not been meant to see. It was a bit nostalgic watching them like this again.

Although, being so close now meant that they could still participate even if it was indirectly. Pyro’s hand covered Spy’s in Sniper’s hair and pushed gently, encouraging the taller man to trail his mouth down Spy’s body. Pyro squeezed around Spy’s causing those thin fingers to tighten in Sniper’s hair signaling the taller man when to slow down or stop entirely. And Sniper, bless him, was ever quick to oblige. Chin, throat, collar bone, chest and so on, not one patch of skin in his path was left neglected. Pyro was just as pleased with the result as Spy appeared to be.

They both watched as Sniper followed the line of hair from Spy’s navel to his straining erection, both their hands in his hair continued to encourage him along. Sniper kissed the head of Spy’s cock before he laved it with his tongue. A curse in the rogue’s native tongue was his reward for his careful attention.

Pyro’s mouth fell open in unconscious longing. The phantom taste of the man lying against them was thick and heavy on their tongue. Both Pyro and Spy moaned deeply when Sniper finally took the other man into his mouth fully. Sniper and Pyro both had to hold Spy down as the man nearly arched completely off the bed. Pyro giggled and nuzzled the side of Spy’s neck playfully, trailing wet kisses against it as they murmured something soft and dreamy into his ear. It was in a language not even the man of so many could decipher though it didn’t stop him from smiling up at them however.

While their mouths kept Spy busy, Pyro’s free hand covered Sniper’s guiding the marksman where they wanted them to go. First, down the smooth expanse of Spy’s stomach, then his inner thigh and between them. Sniper, still so quick to oblige, soon caught on and cupped the heavy sack with sure fingers while Pyro took the opportunity grab the lube and pop the cap. The sound of it must have been enough because Sniper was already awaiting the offering and promptly went about preparing the writhing man between them with newly slicked fingers.

Pyro continued to watch them both of their beautiful men with heavy lidded eyes. It was almost enough just to be so near them at a time like this. To no longer have to stay hidden in some dark corner but to actually be able to feel the heat the two of them gave off. Pyro bowed their head against Spy’s shoulder again and murmured in the language of their mother again in thanks. Spy turned to them without even opening his eyes and responded with a kiss. The rouge gasped in pleasure and surprise into the firebug’s mouth and Pyro happily swallowed the whimper that followed.

Pyro held tight to the older man’s shivering form when Spy bowed as Sniper finally pushed his cock into him. His hands digging into Pyro’s thighs on either side of him. Sniper’s needy groan rattled in the back of his throat as he trembled in response to the tight heat around him. Pyro knew what it was like. They’d felt it hot and clinching around their fingers more than once before. They whimpered in a mixture of sympathy and longing. Knowing they would never be able to feel it the way Sniper was at this moment.

“What does it feel like?” The words tumbled from their mouth before they even realized it.

Sniper licked his lips before he responded, “So… hot.” He said his voice, god his voice was an amazing thing. Pyro closed their eyes then just letting it wash over them. “So tight I can bloody feel his heart beat.” He laughed, giddy with sensation.

Pyro’s hand unconsciously went to the center of Spy’s chest and covered the man’s heart wanting to feel. Spy whimpered and apparently clenched around the other man’s cock. Sniper’s eyes closed again, his hands dug into Spy’s narrow hips.

“Look,” Pyro whispered into Spy’s ear. “Look at what you can do to him.” Encouraging Spy to open his eyes and take in the sight before them both. When Spy did they both took in the sight of Sniper’s red face, his eyes closed, mouth hanging open in blissful abandon. Spy’s hand curled into Sniper’s hair again and murmured in French. It was so pretty like that, high and desperate. And Pyro agreed. Sniper was so beautiful like this.

But Spy couldn’t see what Pyro could. They both were.

The way they arched and came together. Their perfect, almost suffocating heat. Pyro wanted to melt in it. Their hand went to Sniper’s shoulders and sank in and those sharp blue eyes were on them again.

“Fuck him. Hard. I want to feel it.” Their voice was a low growl as they commanded. Spy whimpered again and Sniper moaned quick to oblige.  

Words dissolved into grunts and groans and the sound of skin moving against skin. Somehow Sniper was kissing them bending Spy nearly in half between the two of them as he fucked into him. Spy’s hand was in Pyro’s hair again pulling. Someone wailed and Sniper cursed and shuddered against them. And then there was chocked sob that no one could rightfully claim.

When it was over no one seemed to want to move. Pyro certainly wasn’t going to complain. Spy didn’t seem to mind so much either. And well, Sniper seemed to be too busy trying to catch his breath rather than extract himself from Spy. Pyro grinned madly and pressed a kiss to the top of Spy’s head and scratched their fingers through Sniper sweaty mane.

There were a few more quiet moments of simply breathing before Sniper lifted his head and gave them both a dopey grin. “S’your turn now, love,” he said as he finally began to untangle himself from Spy’s lanky limbs.

Pyro blinked at the man in surprise.

“Oh yes,ma petite luciole,” Spy’s voice sounded quite dangerous for someone who had just been fucked senseless. “This is a group effort after all.” He smiled shark-like and turned grabbing one of their ankles when Sniper took the other. “No one will be left unsatisfied I fear.” 

Pyro squealed as they both tugged at the same time and giggled like mad as they both descended upon them.


	4. herrcolonel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **herrcolonel said:** Hmm… okay, how ‘bout some RED/BLU Sniperspy, BLU Spy gets into the habit of visiting RED Sniper during long CTF matches but RED Pyro starts noticing and misinterprets and starts thinking it’s his job to keep Sniper safe from Spy. Hijinks ensue, Spy has to set up a series of traps and decoys for Pyro to keep him occupied and searching for Spy elsewhere so Sniper and Spy can have some private time together.

Sniper would be the first to admit that he had clearly lost his bloody mind but he supposed it had to happen sooner or later. As much as he loved his job it did tend to get a bit stale after a while. Sure the scenery changed from time to time—2Fort, then Well, then Turbine and Sawmill or Double Cross…  All the same, there were only so many different ways a man could keep himself entertained in a never ending cycled of a glorified child’s game of capture the flag. Even if in this game the flag was a briefcase brimming full of ‘intelligence’ and getting ‘tagged’ usually meant a quick and messy trip through respawn. Lately, more often than not he found himself functioning on a dangerous state of auto-pilot.

It soon became apparent that he wasn’t the only mercenary that was starting to grow bored with their current routine. BLU’s Spy had seemingly run out of creative ways to sneak up on him and stab him in the back like the bloody spineless prancing wuss he was. And eventually the annoying little prat stopped trying all together. Well, that was to say that he’d seemed to stop trying to stab him in the back with a knife anyway. As it turned out, the bloody poofter had plans on stabbing him with something else entirely. In the ass no doubt and not the metaphorical one if he’d caught the other man’s meaning correctly.

He had to admit that the actual proposition had not been exactly what he’d been expecting from someone as supposedly sophisticated and suave as the BLU Spy.

_“I ‘ave seen that monstrous thing you keep hidden in your pants and I want to sit on it.”_  Just didn’t ring as charming and alluring as the other man may have thought even with the poncy French accent.

Though he supposed there was something to be said about a man that knew his audience. Mick Mundy had never been one to beat around the bush when he’d been interested in a shag. Although, admittedly those times had involved bars and copious amounts of hard booze and well… ladies or at least lady hookers or that one time with that curious sheep… but he didn’t really like to think back on his youth that much anymore. Anyway, these were things that were severely lacking around here if you asked him. And if you asked the BLU Spy as well apparently.

Needless to say, at the very least it had been a while for the Sniper.

He couldn’t say that he hadn’t been at least slightly interested from the get go no matter how idiotically dangerous the prospect was. In fact, the possibility of being caught in the act was one of the more appealing points actually. Even so, he wasn’t that easy. He was a professional after all. Not to mention the very obvious possibility that the BLU Spy could have just been fucking with him to get him to let his guard down, they were on the job.

No. If he was going to do this he was going to make the bloody pain in the proverbial ass work for it for it first.  

This of course only lasted about three days. It was at the very least a record for the Australian who had previously been clocked at about three hours, fourteen minutes and nineteen seconds. Though, that was only because he had also been on the job at the time and the bloody annoying sod he’d been gunning for refused to be shot in the head in a timely manner.

Still it was a respectable effort. Sniper could go into this with his pride intact at the very least and Spy could feel however the bastard wanted really. Sniper didn’t really give a shit and long as he was getting a shag or two out of it.

Anyhow, once the two of them started they quickly developed a routine that benefited them both. Sniper would take out a few of the Spy’s teammates. Spy would be forced to focus his attention on eliminating the threat. Sniper would move to more secluded cover because the Spy was now gunning for him and was getting to be too close for comfort. The Spy would of course find him again. They’d screw around. The Spy would suddenly appear somewhere else on the field while the Sniper somehow remained stab wound free and the games would continue. No one seemed to be the wiser to their little arrangement. Until well… someone was.

The looks on their faces when the RED Pyro found them  _in flagrante delicto_  had to have been priceless if the inquisitive sound the Pyro made was anything to go by. Lucky for the Sniper he’d been on the receiving end that day. His long legs hooked around Spy’s shoulders and his arms tied behind his back with a pretentious neck tie. He must have been the picture perfect example of a prisoner of war accosted and forced by the enemy to endure the ultimate humiliation. Or at least that’s the story he’d be going with if he were ever asked.

As with most things he’d found as he got old the idea of getting caught was far more appealing than the actual act of.

As to be expected, the Pyro did not take kindly to what they’d found. Sniper honestly felt terrible for the way the BLU Spy had been dispatched as a result. The poor bloke hadn’t even been able to get his pants back up before he’d been set ablaze. In fact, the shell shock he’d felt after was all too real and also enough to convince the Pyro further that he’d been taken against his will. His teammate even had to help him with the tie around his wrists as well as the location of his pants. As humiliating as that was he couldn’t help but feel slightly relieved that his teammate didn’t seem to suspect that he’d actually been a willing participant in the debauchery.

From that point on, Pyro had hardly left his side and when they did they were usually found out on the map making the BLU Spy’s life hell on earth. Apparently hell had no fury like a morally outraged pyromaniac. Despite feeling sorry for the Spy he couldn’t help but admire his teammate’s enthusiasm and dedication to defending his honor. Although, as sweet a gesture as it was, after a while it started to get a bit annoying. He was used to being on his own for the most part. The Pyro’s hovering was murder on his concentration.

He was polite about it however. Especially since the other mercenary had promised to keep the situation between the two of them. Small miracles and what not. Not that it really mattered all that much in the end since things were just too risky to allow something like that to happen again. Or so he’d thought. That idiotic Spy was apparently a glutton for punishment however or just plain insane if the manic look on the man’s face the next time they met up was any indication.

“Are ya outta yer bloody gourd?”

Pyro had only left him alone this time because he’d been in desperate need of a piss and as amusing as the little mutant seemed to find his Jarate they didn’t seemed to be interested in sticking around and seeing how it was made. He’d actually been mid-stream when the Spy had shown up.

“You come back here again after what happened to you the last time? You got any idea the kinda crap I’ve had to put up with after that? I don’t even want to think about what you had to…” The Sniper cringed at the thought of the Spy’s last unfortunate encounter with Pyro’s flamethrower. “Why would you want to risk that again?”

“Because I will not allow that abomination to win and deprive me of one the few…” The Spy had already slithered well into his personal space leaning in to steal a glance over his hunched shoulder as he tucked himself away again. “ _Pleasures_  I have in this hell hole.”

Sniper didn’t know how to feel about that. Flattered however was on the short list. Though, vaguely disturbed was not far below it. “Eh. I don’t know if it’s worth the trouble anymore, mate.”

“Not to worry. We will not have to concern ourselves with that…  _thing_  again.” The Spy shuddered in remembrance. Sniper couldn’t say that he could blame the bloke. “I have called in a few favors. Now your mumbling teammate will be much too busy keeping their own ass intact to worry about yours, mon ami.”

As if on cue, an explosion strong enough to rock the rickety structure of the Sniper’s nest went off. It was certainly nothing new to either man and neither had the unmistakable sound of the Pyro’s muffled screams. Although, the Sniper couldn’t help but feel badly. Especially, knowing that he’d been the reason the poor sod was currently having to deal with the combined pursuit of both BLU’s Demoman and Soldier. Those morons could be especially vicious when they set their minds to it.

The Spy currently sucking on his neck paused long enough to cackle madly, “Take that you abomination!”

Sniper shoved at him, a grave frown marring his face. “That’s not funny! That’s still me teammate.”

“Oh but it is!” The Frenchman grinned at him before setting back to his work undressing the marksman.

“S’not. She’s just tryin’ to help. She thinks you’re trying to kill me. Which by all rights you should be,” His protests were rather weak however and he was easily convinced back into the act. “I should do something nice for her after. Get her some of those candies she likes so much. Or take her to one of those terrible movies she likes.”

“You cannot be serious,” The Spy gave him a flat look of barely contained disgust. “Here I am about to suck your brains out through your cock and all you can think about is buying that atrocity candy and taking it on a date?”

“She’s not a… What’s that got to do with you sucking my dick? You can still do that. I ain’t stopping ya.”  

“Mon dieu. You are lucky you are handsome because… Wait a minute… Her?! It’s a female?”

“Uh… I dunno. I just assumed because of all the pink they’ve got in their room… But back to my dick…”

“You’ve been in its room!”

“Well, she invited me for tea and it woulda been rude of me ta…”

“Are you… Are you serious?”  

“I’m tellin’ ya…”

“Am I actually being… cock blocked… by that… that monster? This is unacceptable!”

“Wot? Look mate… Ain’t no need to be gettin’ all dramatic on me. It ain’t anythin’ like that…”

“Then what the hell where you doing in their room?”

“I just bloody told ya…”

“Huddah?”

“Aww piss…”

In that moment time seemed to stop. The Spy’s eyes went wide, his mouth falling open in shock as he turned to face the focus of his previous wrath.

Oh, this wasn’t going to be good.

“Oh. Merde.”  


	5. me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this [post](http://ilona-the-sinister.tumblr.com/post/105429938084/for-those-who-are-sad-that-theres-only-a-1) quickly inspired this.

**_#1_**

There are fingers in her hair. At first they’re just barely there at the nape making the skin there prickle and goose bumps form. Then they press in further, rough pads of finger tips sliding and carding through. Her back rolls like a cat and she almost purrs before she catches herself. She can’t help it. She tries to stay still again long enough but she’s already sure that he’s noticed the change in her breathing. He always notices things like that. And just to prove it the next thing she feels makes her squirm out right. There’s hot breath at her ear now, the smell of coffee and the first morning’s cigarette is already thick in the air.

“Wakey, wakey. Eggs and bacey.” The nicotine rough voice in her ear makes her lower belly go all warm and fond. If she didn’t love it so much she might just be annoyed by its use for such a dirty tactic.

“Time to get up, love,” Those caressing fingers turn more aggressive turning to tug at one of her ears.

Juni whines. Already? It was just midnight like an hour ago.

“Mmmph!” She swats the offending hand away and Mick apologizes almost immediately with a quick peck to her cheek. His unshaven facial fuzz scratches her a little, pulling her even farther from the warm embrace of slumber. She’s all but given up at this point and sighs.

“I made you a cuppa. Just the way you like. Too much cream, way too much sugar.” He snickers. “Dunno how your stomach can ‘andle somethin’ like that so early.”

“Dun wanna.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better about it I got ya a present.”

Her head pops up at that instantly. Mick snorts and covers a laugh with the back of his hand at that. She must look hilarious with her bed head or maybe it was the speed with which she’d popped up at the promise of a present. She couldn’t be bothered to ask which at the moment.

“A present?”

“Yup. It’s on the table. But ya gotta get up ta get it.”

She frowns at him but starts to untangle herself from the blankets anyway. Bare feet carefully navigate around clothes and shoes and possible weapons on the floor of the crowded camper van to the small table and bench seat. This early in the morning there is still barely any light filtering through the small tinted window above it but it’s enough for her to see her ‘present’.

She gasps, face breaking into a wide smile—so wide it hurts, “Oh my gosh is that…”

“Yup.” He’s grinning almost a wide at her reaction.

She can’t help it. She bounces on her feet and claps joyfully before sliding into the seat and wrapping her hands around the warm mug. Her mug. On it, printed in bright red letters, ‘#1 Pyro’.

“Aww, Mickey you’re the best,” She can’t stop grinning.

“No, love.  _We’re_  the best,” he lifts in own mug to that. “Cheers.” 


	6. me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The comparison between their hands was fascinating to the Pyro.

**_Aucune Comparaison_ **

The comparison between their hands was fascinating to the Pyro. 

The Spy’s were so much like the man himself. Slim and elegant. Clever and nimble. The Pyro had watched him with that nifty little blade of his more times than they could count. Transfixed.

The Pyro had observed and studied his movements. They wanted to match those beautiful motions. They envied the way the Spy could make the blade dance and catch the light. It made the most beautiful colors. 

Butterfly knife. The Butterfly. Such a fitting name for such a pretty little blade.

They had even been gifted the opportunity to try it out for themself but they would never be as talented as the Spy was. 

The Pyro had quickly realized what the problem was. 

It was their hands. 

Those delicate though deceptively powerful hands clutched their larger, clumsier one. Mismatched eyes focused on them from behind the large dark lenses of their mask. 

They were bare. 

“May I?” The words were low and rich with the man’s intriguing accent. 

French. France. 

They’d never been to France. They’d never been much of anywhere really. They’d barely left the desert states until RED. 

They couldn’t help but wonder what those ice blue eyes had seen in their own time. What kinds of adventures the man would never tell them about. 

“Mon petite libellule…” 

The Pyro didn’t know what that meant but it sure sounded nice. Especially in that voice. With it the Spy had been able to convince them to do things for him that they would have never done for anyone else. 

Never. 

The Pyro had many secrets of their own after all but…

_“May I?” ___

Within the safe confines of their mask the Pyro licked at chapped lips, though their tongue was too dry to do much of anything to wet them. 

Those fingers—pale and pristine. Just like they imagined the man behind that mask might be. Thin and perfect and somehow untouched. Everything they most certainly were not. Those fingers traced their palm lightly. Too light for the Pyro to feel through the thick rubber of their gloves. It made the sweaty skin underneath twitch. 

They wanted to feel them though. To know for sure that they were real. That this was real. 

They nodded once. 

The Spy smiled warmly, “Merci.” 

Those beautiful, dangerous hands worked the heavy insulated glove free of their own with very little effort. 

Thin lips arched to one side when they found the knit fingerless glove underneath. 

“Of course,” the man said, clearly amused, before he quickly rid them of that one as well. 

The Spy chuckled softly once their hand was finally bare. He practically hummed as he traced the rough pads of their fingers with his own and then the jagged scars of their palm. 

Content, the Pyro sighed. It sounded harsh to their own ears through the filter of their mask. 

“Such strong, capable hands, luciole. So perfect for what you do so well.” 

The Spy did something unexpected then. With both hands he lifted the Pyro’s own to his lips and placed a chaste kiss against the knobby, bruised knuckles. The Pyro tittered and blushed so unused to being touched as intimately as this. 

“Never forget, mon amour, that you are perfect just as you are.” 

Within the dark confines of their mask the Pyro smiled and believed every word.


	7. jumpjudgmental

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **jumpjudgmental asked:** You said you were accepting prompts and I couldn't resist- Pyro and Sniper talk about either a break from work where they go home for a while, or the end of the war. They have to decide whether they want to stick together, or meet the other's family, or whatever else you can come up with!

_**A/N:** I hope this is sort of like what you had in mind. Mick and Juni do have a rather odd way of communicating very important adult things like their future together. Still, it seems to work just fine for them. _

**_Very Important Adult Things_ **

On the opposite side of the bedroom wall he could hear the Scout as he whined and complained about shitty, inconsiderate teammates and things he should never have to freaking know about however, in that moment, the Sniper could not possibly care less. 

Mick Mundy was too busy contemplating more important matters. Such as how adorable his bedmate the Pyro looked with their hair mused just so and how cute they were when they went all pink and glowy like that. He watched as they lay there, lips parted to catch their breath (he’d done that by the way, he thought proudly) and thought that when this was all over this was the person he was going to marry one day. This was going to be the person he spent whatever was left of his life with. And for a moment he'd been a little frightened by just how sudden and clear that thought had been. 

At least until they opened their eyes and caught him staring. Juni gave him a crooked little grin then and he thought with renewed confidence that, ‘Yup. This was definitely it. This was definitely the one.’ 

Now the only problem was how he was going to tell them that. He certainly had never had to consider anything like this before. Having never had a serious relationship before there had never been the need but now suddenly there was and he kind of wished that maybe he’d had a little more practice before getting to this point. He supposed he could just take the easy way out and continue to enjoy thing as they were for the time being but what about after when the war was over and they were all expected to go their own ways?

What then? 

Could he just expect the Pyro to pack up their things and be ready to go without him even having to ask? They were weirdly intuitive with it came to most things but this was perhaps a bit more important than what he happened to like on his hamburger. 

Shit. He was bloody wasting the after effects of a really good shag laying here stewing like this but he couldn’t help it. 

Fine. 

He quickly decided that he’d ponder on that later before moving on to much more delicate matters. 

Like how the conversation with his mum and dad would go when he told them that he was planning on bringing someone home with him the next time they got some time off. He wondered how his mum would react when he told her that he finally had someone of his own and that he wanted them to meet. He was certain that she’d be happy for him. She’d been hinting at wanting him to settle down for quite some time now but he couldn’t help but wonder what she would think of his choice of partner. What would his dad think of Juni’s profession?

He wasn’t foolish enough to have any illusions when it came to that of course. Neither of his parents thought much of his own chosen profession after all and Juni’s wasn’t much different. 

Not that it mattered. 

Either way, he’d be proud to show Juni off. There weren’t anyone like Juni in Alice Springs that was for bloody sure. In fact, Mick was pretty sure there weren’t anyone like Juni in the whole of Australia. 

Lucky for him, he’d taken the job with RED or else he would never have found his little Juni-bug in the first place. 

Even so he still hadn’t come up with any answers and eventually his racing thoughts lost steam. He finally he’d begun to doze off a bit after midnight, lulled to sleep by the sound of Juni evened breaths. They stayed in bed late into the next morning. As long as they could manage before their bloody annoying little wanker Scout started pounding on their door squawking for them to get their lazy, deviant asses up in return for them keeping him up the night before. 

Although, thankfully for all of them, work had been called off for the day due to the terrible weather. 

Despite the rude interruption of their sleep, he and Juni still took their time crawling out of bed and it wasn’t until after they were both full and lazy after having replaced all those calories they’d burned together the night before that last night’s thought crept up in Mick’s mind again. 

At least one answer came once they were left with the trouble of finding something to do with themselves. 

While Juni was quite the little artist, Mick had never been much of one himself besides some haphazard scribbles in his earlier childhood. His hands had always been a little too big and clumsy for more delicate work but that didn’t stop him from trying when Juni insisted. As was the case, when she’d rather effortlessly coerced him in to coloring with her without even having to utter a word. 

So here they were sat at one of the dining hall tables, hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder. Their hands occasionally bumping as the reached for this color and that. 

Despite this, the Scout still didn’t seem to be pleased with the fact that they’d chosen a quieter, less sweaty way to pass the time if his annoyed grumbling that they ‘get a freaking room’ was anything to go back as he passed through. 

See if the ungrateful little bugger got a nice little drawing to go on his locker tomorrow like everyone else. Mick had to admit that the middle finger Juni threw in the little gremlin’s direction was a might more satisfying than that thought however. 

The usual suspects were the first to show up on their little masterpiece. Thanks to Juni’s rather detailed imagination Mick already knew all about the Balloonicorn, the mayor elect and chief financial officer of Pyroland. The citizens of Pyroland didn’t appear to understand the term ‘conflict of interest’ it seemed. Which figured since they’d elected a flying pink horse as the head of their city in the first place. This probably said a lot about the decision making skills of the majority of the population. He was also well familiar with Burny the Dragon, the town’s Sherriff and sworn protector of the Candy Hills. He was in fact busy coloring in the friendly beast's dark red scales when Juni began work on another familiar shape. 

Juni’s tongue peaked out of the corner of their mouth as they was set to work on getting the tilted brim of his hat just right. Mick snorted and started to draw Juni there as well close enough for them to hold hands without much editing needed once they’d both gotten to that point. 

“Wait.” The sudden sound of Juni’s voice was more what stopped him than the actual command. It was the first he'd heard it all day... Well outside of...

Suddenly, they were busy drawing something else— _someone_ else in the space between their cartoon selves. Someone he hadn’t seen before. Someone much smaller than them both in fact. 

“Who's the little one, love?”

“Uh… August… Augie,” she said hesitantly as she reached for a light blue crayon and used it to put two little dots of color on what was now a little round face. She didn't look up from her work but she was smiling shyly. 

“Augie, eh?” he grunted thoughtfully and passed her a dark brown crayon she’d be going for next that had rolled just out of her reach. 

“Yeah. I… I kinda like that name.” 

“Well, I reckon if you like it then its fine by me as well.” 

When he was finished with his own work—a rather crude representation of Juni in her chem suit but without her gas mask (he could never get it just right anyway)—he moved on to a clear patch of land in the nearby hills just past a slightly lopsided rainbow bridge. This shape was a bit easier than anything he'd done previously. It wasn't anything extravagant but it was to be a cozy little house. Big enough and certainly nice enough for three.

“Got any more names you fancy then?” 

“I may have a few,” she admitted as she ducked her head down and smiled bashfully already starting on another little body to match the first. 

“Well, that’s good. We may need those ones too,” he smiled too and started work on an addition. You know, just in case the fantastical musings of a crazed gunman and an unstable pyromaniac somehow actually came true one day it’d be nice to have room for a little brood if need be. 

Either way, it was just nice to see that they seemed to be on the same page after all.


	8. anonymous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Anonymous asked:** Heylil mama lemme whisper in yo ear. Imagine Sniper and Pyro finding their bunny counterparts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so mean…*locates word short cut on desktop* Omg I can’t even… *opens word document* Why would you even… *starts writing it* I can’t believe this shit *is still writing it* What is even wrong with people… *still writing* [Inspired by [Berneri’s](http://berneri.tumblr.com/) [Bunny Fortress 2 blog](http://tf2bunnies.tumblr.com/)]

_**Bunny Season** _

 

“Is this some kind of joke?”

“Of course not! What do you take me for? Nothing is even on fire, Micky. C’mon… A joke,” Pyro scoffed. “This is serious.”

Sniper blinked and then blinked again before finally giving up and removing his sun glasses. Maybe… maybe Pyro had been goofing around again and had replaced his lens with those dodgy Pyrovision ones he’d absolutely refused to wear… No… No, it was still the same even without his aviators and he couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

“Er… w-where did you say you found these…”

“Bun-nies,” Pyro supplied helpfully, their voice taking on a song like quality for no apparent reason. “I found them at the edge of the woods. They looked suspicious.”

“Suspicious, eh?”

“Yeah, like they were planning something. An attack maybe?”

“An attack? Bunnies. Heh...”

“Attack Bunnies.” They said in unison. Then stared at each other in a moment of silent realization before Pyro continued.

“Look the you-bun even has a little bow and arrow. It’s it cute?”

“The wot-bun…” Sniper squinted and leaned down further to get a better look. “That rabbit looks nothin’ like me.”

Pyro gave him an odd look before pointing out the small bunny sized slouch hat and aviators the light haired bunny was wearing. They waited. Sniper remained unconvinced. Stubborn bastard.

“Whatever, I think we should keep them. For science.”

“We can’t keep ‘em!” Sniper grumbled, “That’d be inhumane. They’re wild animals. They’ve probably got a nest or somethin’ somewheres.”

Pyro’s shoulders slumped and they pouted at him. Sometimes he missed the mask.

“Well,” Sniper’s expression turned thoughtful suddenly, “Suppose we could eat ‘em. Did catch ‘em fair an’ square an’ all. Got this new seasonin’ I’ve been wantin’ ta try that’d be perfect for ‘em.”

Pyro gasped in horror and if Sniper hadn’t already completely lost his mind he’d could have sworn his rabbit counterpart was giving him a disappointed expression.

“We can’t eat them! They’re us!” Pyro moaned, seemingly disgusted at the thought. Which Sniper thought was quite strange seeing as they hadn’t seemed to have an issue with utterly devouring the squirrel kabobs he’d sat down in front of them earlier at lunch.

“What if this is like some Twilight Zone type shit? And if we eat _them,_ **we** cease to exist or something. What… What if they’re like us from an alternate dimension where bunnies rule the earth or something? We’d be cannibals! Besides… That would totally explain their little bun-sized accessories wouldn’t it?”

Sniper turned to his partner and gave them the raised eyebrow of _‘Are you sure you took your meds this morning?’_

“Don’t give me that… how else would you explain a little cute bunny in a gas mask, Michael?”

Sniper made a disgusted noise in response, “I dunno… Scout? Spy? They’re both assholes any ways. Always fuckin’ about. It could be either one of ‘em. Or maybe one of Medic’s weird ass experiments? I don’t have a clue. Alls I know is these little runts I’d be right fine with a bunch of potatoes and carrots and maybe a bit of… Ouch! The hell…”

“Oh you-bun got you good!” Pyro burst into a fit of excited giggles and clapped. “Oh,” They both leaned back and away from the box when a burst of flame nearly took out both of their eyebrows. “Me-bun’s cute little flame thrower even works. Talk about quality craftsmanship and dedication…”

“That’s it!” Sniper said pulling the arrow out that had struck him right between the eyes. That little bastard could have blinded him. “I’m frying these little buggers up right an’ crispy,” he said as he snatched up the box and started for his camper.

“Noooo!” Pyro wailed, quickly following. “What if they have little bun-babies? Think of the children, Micky!”

 


	9. genderqueerpyro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **genderqueerpyro said:** uhh for the fic thing, maybe like, some sort of fluffy thing involving someone cooking?? i dunno im terrible at this

Pyro loved Sniper very much. He was their best friend. Their snuggle buddy. Their art critic. Their protector. Their partner in crime. Their driver to funky town. Sniper understood them when nobody else even bothered. Sniper put up with them when no one else could.

Pyro really, really loved Sniper.

That being said…

“Um…”

“Well… er… it’s not…” Sniper was adorable. Even slightly singed, sweating and covered in a fine layer of vegetable oil. Aaaaaand… apparently missing one of his eye brows. But that was cool. It would grow back. And that little burn on his cheek was nothing. It would heal fine. Pyro had ointment for that kind of thing. Pyro MADE ointment for that kind of thing. It’d be fine. Nothing like that cute little scar on his other cheek that hadn’t healed right only because Micky was terrible at looking after himself. But he had them for that now so… Yeah… It’d be _fiiiine_.

“It didn’t quite come out the way I planned it… but… it should still be good,” he finished. His eyes shined briefly with hope, though he didn’t sound nearly as convincing as he was probably going for. A moment later, he rubbed at the back of his head sheepishly. He’d only made the already mussed to hell greasy brown strains even worse. His usually carefully combed coif was gone the way of whatever dignity he probably had left but that was okay. Pyro was a supportive partner. It couldn’t be that bad. Sniper loved them too after all. He’d said so. He would never give them anything that would hurt them.

Right?

There was a bloody finger print smudge on the edge of their plate. Not a big deal at all. Noooooo. I mean they’d certainly gone beyond the point of being squeamish about each other’s bodily fluids at this point any how now hadn’t they?

“It looks… great.” Pyro offered a reassuring smile. They still weren’t sure what exactly it was. They knew that Sniper wasn’t necessarily a picky man when it came to food. He’d hunt anything he could find and cook it up and eat it without much thought. Pyro could be a little more discerning but they had made a promise to at least try anything once. “Um… what… is it?”

Sniper’s shoulders slumped a bit and Pyro’s heart ached faintly. They tried not to cringe but their hand did twitch a bit before it eased across the table and gently laid atop Sniper’s bandaged… hand. Pyro cleared their throat.

“It’s chicken,” He said finally.

“Oh!.” Pyro tried not to sound too relieved. They really had. “Well… I’m sure it’s great!”

Sure, it was a little burnt. But Pyro dealt in a little burnt. A little burnt was Pyro’s whole career plan. Okay, well maybe that was an understatement but anyway… They could certainly stomach a little ash with their bird they thought as they picked up their fork and dug in.

It was the strangest thing with Micky. Give the guy a camp fire to cook on and he could make magic happen with whatever he caught but confine him to a kitchen and he was all thumbs. Pyro had tried to convince him that he didn’t need to bother trying to cook a meal for them in the kitchen. They were perfectly happy with whatever he could whip up outdoors. But he’d insisted. Maybe he just wanted to prove to them that he could do it. Which was probably why he’d gone with something much tamer than his usual fair.

Pyro proceeded to dig into the meal that had been so lovingly prepared for them trying to ignore the look of desperate anticipation on Sniper’s face. Which didn’t take as much effort actually once Pyro started chewing. And chewing… and chewing. Okay, so it was a little dry.

There was a tickle at the back of their throat.

Okay, so it was a lot dry. At least he’d been thoughtful enough to provide a beverage. Beer of course. Yeah… they were going to need a beer… or few… to get through this one. They drained at least half of the bottle after the first bite finally went down.

Sniper seemed to be waiting for something from them with a raised brow… or what used to be an eye brow. Apparently, he was still waiting on the okay before he started eating. Pyro was going to ignore that little fact for the time being however.

“It’s… really flavorful.” It wasn’t. Like at all. It was like perhaps all the seasoning maybe burned off or flaked off in the oil when he dunked it in. But that was okay. He could be taught. It was the effort that counted right now.

“Oh. Good!” He said before digging in to his own food. Pyro subtly took another gulp of beer… before cutting their eyes to watch his face as he chewed. And chewed. And chewed. And shrugged and kept chewing.

“You were very sweet to do this for me, Micky,” Pyro smiled as they reached for another beer bottle, then the ketchup. “I love you lots y’know.”

Predictably, his cheeks colored a bit at that and though he was still working on that mouthful, he grinned. Then coughed.

Pyro politely ignored the puff of chicken dust between them. 


	10. anonymous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Anonymous said:** If Pyro actually saw what he was doing do you think he would like freak out? Like how do you think he would react?

**Auto Balance**

 

He’d almost taken Spy’s head off his kukri when the other man had come for him. He’d been so focused on his scope, on the match that he hadn’t heard the man coming. Besides, he could have very easily been the other team’s Spy after all. Luckily, the other man knew him well enough, the safe word was probably what had saved him in the end though.

“We have a problem, Bushman.”

“Wot the bloody hell are you…”

“It’s the Pyro. Your presence is required. _Now.”_

He was a professional. They were in the middle of a match. He was being paid to perform a job here. But… “The match…”

“Is lost.” Spy sighed. “Or haven’t you noticed?”

Now that he thought about it there had been a distinct lack of RED uniforms on the map for the past few minutes.

“There are more important matters right now I’m afraid.” The Spy continued.

“Look now, I know…”

“It’s the medicine. There’s been… an unexpected reaction.”

Sniper stopped cold. His blue eyes going wide.

“Shit.” He was up and pushing past the other man before he could say anything else.

 

He could hear her from well outside the locker room. The Engineer was standing outside it cursing and looking harried. “I… I don’t know what the hell is going on with her but… Sh-shit…”

Sniper didn’t know what to say to that. He’d never seen the Texan like that before. He didn’t even know what he was about to find once he breached that door.

Though apart of him said he should have expected the blood. The rest of the team was suspiciously absent after all. If the amount of blood and bits he found upon entry were anything to go by they were probably still working their way through respawn.

“J-Juni… darl?” He croaked as he crept around the back toward the showers. “H-hey… It’s me.” He didn’t have look to know that Spy was creeping closely behind him.

“Micky?”

He was surprised to hear her voice, clear and unfiltered by the gas mask. She never took it off outside her room or his camper.

“Yeah… It’s me.” He said stepping fully into the room. No matter how many times he’d experienced it he couldn’t help but cringe at the smell of burnt flesh. Not far off he could see what was probably left of Scout in a heap on one of the corners of the room.

“Oh… Micky… I’m sorry,” Juni whimpered, her eyes were wide and red. Her face looking grim. “I… I didn’t mean to.”

“I-I know,” Mick said, keeping his voice as calm and even as he could. He approached her slowly. Like he would a spooked animal. “I know you didn’t mean it, love.” He wasn’t even positive he knew what it was she hadn’t meant but he was getting closer to her and hadn’t abruptly lost a limb yet so he was going to continue to go with it.

“Why don’t ya put down the axe, love? Tell me what happened.”

“I don’t know!” She yelled her face going even redder in anger. Her grip on the axe handle tightened. “He was just… screaming and screaming and he wouldn’t stop. And I tried to help him, Micky. I tried. I tried the bubbles but it just came out wrong.”

She was shaking and crying now, the axe fell from her hands with a dull thunk. “Wrong… everything I tried came out wrong. I don’t… I don’t know what I did wrong.” Now she was pulling at her hair. “Oh god the smell. I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. There was so much… he was on fire, Micky. Oh god. He was on fire. And screaming and I’m sorry… so sorry I had to make him STOP.”

He didn’t know what to say he just let his feet continue to carry him forward and before he knew it she was clinging to him blubbering and babbling on. He could barely keep up.

“There was so much red… Was it blood? Oh g-god. It was blood.” She moaned. “It was everywhere. All over my face I couldn’t see… I couldn’t breathe. I had to take it off.”

Her mask.

“And Scout. Oh god… is he? Oh god…”

“Shh, shh, it’s alright. It’ll be alright, love. It’ll be alright.”

“W-what’s wrong… What’s wrong with me? What did I do? WHERE’S SCOUT.”

Sniper was floundering as he tried to keep a grip on her. Christ, it was so easy to forget how strong she could be sometimes.

“I… don’t feel right. I don’t feel right, Micky,” She moaned and curled into his chest. “What’s happening?”

He’d only been trying to help her. The last furlong he’d taken her with him. Taken her to a real doctor this time. Not anyone from RED. The medicine was supposed to actually help her. She’d been fine for days after, weeks but now…

He could hear the Administrator over the PA system but for the life of him he couldn’t make out what she’d said over the sound of Juni’s hysterics.

“Nonononon. I can’t go back out there… They’re dying, Micky. Oh god… I’m _killing_ them. Nononono. I can’t…”

Sniper looked to Spy. He’d never seen the look the other man was giving him before. He’d never seen such helplessness on the other man’s face.

“It was supposed to fix this!” Sniper snarled at the other man.

“Please, please don’t make me go,” Juni wailed.  

“I think… perhaps,” Spy said warily. “It did.”


	11. me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kid Fic. I'm so sorry. ~~I'm so not sorry.~~

** August **

 

There was never going to be a moment like this one again Mick thought.

It just… so surreal. Just last night Juni had been lying there next to him. Big round belly. The skin stretched so tight and thin Mick swore he could almost make out the vague form of their baby inside her. He’d laid there and imagined what their baby might look like. What he’d hoped he’d look like. Juni’s dark hair and big round eyes, cute little nose.

Nothing like him he hoped. Poor kid’d be doomed if he looked anything like his old man.

It hadn’t been just a fantasy then though. But now there was a baby. An actual infant. So tiny that it almost didn’t make sense that her belly had been so large for such a wee little thing. This tiny little bugger couldn’t have been taking up all that space in her could it? Making her waddle and squirm and never comfortable enough to sleep through the entire night. Pushing her organs up and about or so she moaned and complained. But he had.  

Their baby had.

Their son.

He didn’t have to imagine what their boy looked like anymore because he was right here. Screwed up little face almost like he was pissed that he’d been evicted before he’d wanted to be. Dark hair and pink skin. Tiny little hands and feet. Crikey. Even his ears were little. God. He didn’t even know what color…  _oh_ … blue.

Mick grinned.

They were blue. Like his.

That was it. He was going to split his own bloody face. He just knew it. At least he was already in a hospital Mick thought as he finally built up the nerve to reach forward and place his hand against the little bugger’s back.

He was so warm. God.

And his stupid big, paw of a hand had nearly covered the little guy’s back completely. He was so… Oh. Now that had to be the smallest sound Mick had ever heard. Was it even human?

His own rough chuckle in response was startlingly loud in comparison he thought as their baby… his son… curled into his… his… his Juni’s chest.

He couldn’t wrap his mind around just how real it all suddenly was.

He was  _so_ tiny. His son.

He was a dad.

Juni looked up at him then finally able to tear her eyes away from the little squirming thing on her chest. Her hair was mussed to all hell and sweaty and sticking to her forehead but she was still able to give him a tired smile. Her eyes were the brightest Mick had ever seen them.

He couldn’t help but think in that moment that the two of them there together was the most perfect bloody beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“He’s so little,” Juni said so soft like she was going to break him if she was any louder.

Their son. Was he ever going to get used to that?

“I can’t believe he’s real.” She paused and looked up at him suddenly, a worried expression clouding over her face, mismatched eyes large and round. “Th-this… this is real isn’t it, Micky?”

He tried to keep his smile from waning in response. Tried to keep it up. For her. For their boy, “Y-yeah. It’s real, Juni-bug. He’s real as can be. He’s ours.”  

She smiled back then, bright as the sun. “He’s ours.” She repeated before leaning in and burying her nose in the soft, fine curls on the top of their son’s head. “He smells so good. He’s so warm.”

“Yeah,” Mick croaked, mouth gone dry, “He is.”

 


	12. me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More kid fic from my Pyro, Juni's point of view.

**Tiny Angry Little Thing**

 

It was foggy now but Juni remembered waking up to tiny little whimpers but being too sluggish, just too damned tired to move fast enough. Soon the little whimpers were full-fledged cries and it was like their bones were suddenly made of lead. It must have worked out though because then there was warm breath in their ear and gravel that seemed so quiet yet so loud that they hadn’t been able to make out what had been said. Then nothingness again.

Juni sighed and pulled up the strap of the bra, righting it again. Nose scrunching in discomfort before sparring a moment of anticipation for the day of not even bothering again. Any memory of the feeding this time was gone but it must have happened. The dull ache was proof enough. Must have fallen asleep again.

That was the answer to everything they’d forgotten lately anyhow.

Mick turned around at the sound of Juni's sigh but he didn’t say anything. He looked only half as bad as Juni felt which in itself was a bit on an insult. He hadn’t gone through a quarter of what they had. He didn’t have any right to even look that exhausted.

“It’s fine,” he said, voice rough and quiet all the same. “I think I can at least handle this bit, darling.”  

Micky was sitting at the end of the bed with the angry little wriggling thing that had come out of their belly. Juni squinted at it. It was always whimpering, always crying, always hungry, always something. Never enough sleep.

Just looking at it reminded them of how much it all had hurt. How much it still did. Their back hurt. Their chest throbbed. Their nipples ached. Their eyes tingled. And the fog. It was thicker than it had been in a long time. Juni couldn’t even do anything about it right now. They could barely lift their own arms.

They didn’t even have a word for what was going on between their legs anymore.

But then Mick looked up from the wriggling little angry thing and there was something. Just a little peek of something. He was smiling just a little but part of Juni couldn’t help but feel like something was a little off about it.

“Really,” he said. “You can go back ta bed, love.”

“Immawakenow.” It was slurred a bit but it was their voice. Lazy with disuse. They were almost surprised to hear it. It seemed like it had been so long.

He sighed, “Yeah… guess ya are.” His shoulders barely rose before drooping again.

Slowly and carefully Juni crawled to the end of the bed but didn’t dare sit again. They just shuffled up behind Mick, pressed as much of their body against his warm back as they could and rested their chin on his shoulder. Juni closed their eyes and took a deep breath, took in his scent. It had been too long since they had smelled anything but baby.

“He’s just a little fussy,” Mick murmured. “I guess I’d be too. Must have been nice and toasty in there before,” he snickered.

“Nice and toasty,” Juni parroted and looked down at the little… their son.

“Yeah… yeah…” Mick pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “You were right too ya know. August’s a good name... Augie. I do like it.”

Juni just hummed. It _was_ cute. They’d skipped over July but August was a better choice. It was never really foggy in August. It was just too good a month for burning things they supposed. There were a lot of good memories in August.

When they heard Mick’s voice again they couldn’t be sure how much time had passed.

“I was thinking y’know.”

“Hmm?”

“He… he shouldn’t be alone. Uh… it’d be nice to have another... someday.” He hurriedly tacked on, “Just in case.”

Something happened to them.

“Of course.”

You couldn’t count on something not happening after all. They both knew that now. He didn’t have to say. Juni was still sharp. Even in the fog. They’d always had to be very sharp.

It might have been nice to have a sibling growing up. For them. Maybe at the very least they might not have had to be so sharp all the time. It might have been nice for Micky too they supposed.

“Yeah,” Juni murmured, “It’d be nice.”

And of course if it made Mick happy Juni could do it again and again and again if need be.  

There were plenty of other good months after all. 


	13. valoscope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _18\. things you said when you were scared (SniperPyro) – Volascope_

 

“How many sheep do you have again?”

Pyro had found his photo albums again. It wasn’t that he minded really. It was obvious that they liked looking at the pictures. Even after so many times Py had a way of finding something new in them and pulling a new story or two out of him. Pyro just wanted to learn everything they could about him it seemed. It was strange though to have someone take such an interest in him. Sure, the guys seemed to like to hear all about his adventures in the bush and about the other places and lands he’d visited while he worked. He was well aware that it was a bit of novelty to get him to speak at length at all but Pyro was the only one that seemed more interested in the more mundane parts of his life. His home. His childhood. His parents.

It was strange but Mick was coming to understand their curiosity. He was curious about them too.

“Enough,” he said trying for cryptic and failing. Pyro always had a way of figuring him out anyway.

“You just don’t remember do you?”

“It’s just not something I bothered to keep track of is all,” he shrugged. “I told you before, darl. The farm was never really my thing… and… It’s been a while.”

“You still talk to your folks though right?”

“Yeah, but we don’t exactly talk sheep, love.”

“I want to pet every one of them. They’ll let me right? The sheep? They’ll let me pet them?”

He couldn’t help but chuckle in response to Pyro’s childlike enthusiasm. It reminded him of himself when he was younger. When there was a new lamb on the farm, “Most of ‘em will. If you’re gentle enough. Especially the young ones. They don’t know any better yet.” Pyro squinted their strange little eyes at him and he just grinned wider and rested his chin on their shoulder.

“Your mama… she’s real pretty, Micky,” Pyro sighed. “Just like you.”

Mick snorted, “Don’t look anything like that woman.” He rested his fingertips against a photo in question of him and his mum. She still had a bit of color to her hair and he was still young enough that he hadn’t had to wear glasses yet.

“Y’know, when all this war nonsense is over I’m gonna head back home for a bit. I haven’t seen my folks or the old place in ages feels like. Don’t know if everyone’ll be happy to see me again but I’m gonna pop up anyway,” Mick muttered. “And… I want you to come with me. Y’know… if you want.”

They looked up at him with such surprise and hope.

“Course I can’t leave here without my girl,” he said feeling a bit more confident due to their reaction, “Especially not after I told me old mum all about you. She’s dying to meet you.”

“Really?”

“Of course she is.”

“What about the sheep?”

Mick scoffed out a laugh, “I’m sure they’ll be happy to meet you too, love.”

They squirmed against him letting out a happy little noise before something soft and somber settled over their features.

“I… I uh… wanna show you something,” they said as they slid from out of the booth and went to grab an old and worn looking knapsack from the corner. He’d noticed it as soon as it had appeared in the camper about a week or so ago but he hadn’t touched it even if he was curious. Pyro brought it over to the table and pulled out a few things. It was mostly papers but there was also a stuffed rabbit that looked like it had seen better days.

The papers, as they turned out, were a few photos and a formal looking piece of paper. Upon closer inspection Mick realized that they were a birth certificate and photos of Pyro and their family. After all this time, he hadn’t even thought anything like this existed. He tried not to look too shocked or so closely at the birth certificate that Pyro would notice but he couldn’t help himself. He was able to glean some information. The birth certificate had been issued by the state of Nevada and it documented the live birth of a female child on the 9th day of June in a town called Sparks. First name: Jun Li, Middle: Faye, Last: Gonzalez and the names of her mother and father.

Juni. His Juni. His little Pyro.

His eyes then darted to the photos. One of a beautiful woman with long, straight dark hair and eyes just like Juni’s. Another of a little curly haired child being hoisted in the air by a short and stocky Hispanic looking man with a mustache. Juni and her father.

“My mama was an artist. My daddy was a mechanic,” Juni said.

_Was._ Mick couldn’t help but pick up on that word in particular.

“They’re gone now. Been gone for a long time,” Juni said. “We never had a lot of photos. Not like you. These are the only ones I’ve got really. Can’t remember if there’d been more.”

“They’re real nice, love,” Micky said. “Your folks… they seemed… happy.”

“Yeah… they were most of the time.”

He wanted to ask what happened to them. The words itched on the tip of his tongue. Juni owned him as much right? All the things he’d told them. Good and Bad. Secret and not. It was only fair. But he couldn’t bring himself to ask. A part of him he figured feared what they’d have to say. He knew a bit about most of the other mercs. Bits and pieces. Enough to figure how they’d come to be the men they were. But Juni… The Mysterious RED Pyro. Even after they begun what they’d begun he’d never had much clue as to where they’d come from or how they’d come to be. What had happened to this pretty little pixie child to make them pick up that flamethrower in the first place and join eight mentally questionable blokes in a war over nothing?

It was almost surreal being so close to finding out.

Instead of asking Mick reached out and picked up the one photo of the three of them together—little Jun Li and their parents.

“We took that in Yosemite one summer. It was, just a bit before mama got sick,” Juni said.

Ah. Mick couldn’t help but check off illness as the cause of Juni’s mother’s death and cringed at his own callousness. It wasn’t like he was playing some guessing game or something. This was Juni’s life and they didn’t owe him any part of it. This was a gift and he would treat it as such.

“I’m sorry, darling.”

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago. And we had a lot of fun that summer camping and stuff.”

He bit his lip then. It was killing him not to ask. It wasn’t like him nosing into other people’s business but Juni was important to him. He wanted Juni to know him. And he wanted to know about Juni too.

“What about… What about your dad?”

Juni sighed softly before admitting, “I dunno… I guess he just… forgot me.”

Micky blinked dumbly. His voice caught in his throat. Juni had gone on from there. Filling in bits and pieces. Their voice monotone and lifeless. Mick couldn’t imagine what that must have felt like. Being barely twelve years old and coming back to that dingy hotel room and finding it completely sanitized of anything that Juni had ever known. Their father gone without a word or note. He couldn’t imagine what the feeling in their chest was like as they sat on that park bench as the sun went down that first night and realized that they were well and truly alone. That their own father was gone and they probably wouldn’t see him again. That they didn’t have a clue where they was sleeping that night or the next. When they’d eat again. What was waiting for them in the pitch of the night?

Mick wondered if that’s when Juni’s fear of the dark began.

“Oh, Juni-bug…” He croaked feeling clumsy and useless as he pulled them tighter against his chest.

“I’d really like to meet your folks one day, Micky,” Juni said interrupting him before he could say anything else, “Promise me you won’t forget.”

“I won’t,” he said and pressed a kiss to the top of their head. “I promise I won’t.”


	14. aceandrespectfullyinyourface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Who wouldn’t be angry you ate all of my cereal and faked your death for three years!”_

Juni bit their lip and shuffled their feet. This was hard. They’d known it would be, “It… it wasn’t all of your cereal.” They started finally, haltingly, “I left you that shredded wheat crap you used to try and make me eat.”

“Are you bloody…” Mick just stopped and sighed before sitting back down at the table. Defeated, he buried his face in his hands.

Juni would hear him taking in harsh breaths. His shoulders trembled.

Neither of them said anything for what seemed like a long time and soon Juni started fidgeting again. Juni could have sworn there used to be a time when the silence between them hadn’t been this awkward and suffocating.

“Micky…”

“Three years, Juni,” he said finally. “I thought you were dead. I thought the last person I cared about on the entire planet was dead. Do you even have a clue what that’s like?”

Juni opened their mouth not without even knowing what they were going to say to that but Mick stopped them before they had a chance to try.

“I know… I know you don’t think. Not like other folks do anyway,” his frustration erupted in a gush of breath, “But I just… I guess after everything I just thought that I mattered alright. That even if you didn’t think about anything else but yourself the majority of the bloody time that I at least mattered enough to you that I would have come up sometime in last THREE BLOODY YEARS.” He growled. “I thought that _maybe_ you would have called and let me know you were still breathing at least.”

“They wouldn’t let me.”

“… What?”

“They wouldn’t let me,” the quiet, rasping voice murmured again. “They said that it would be better if I didn’t.”

“Wh- who is _‘they’_?” Micky said, his voice a low rumble of thunder in the distance. His eyes were narrow and red rimmed when he finally looked up at them again. Anger and confusion swam in the watery surface of them. Juni didn’t like it so they looked away again, fidgeting again.

“Th-the doctors. They said that is was for my own good… and yours too!” Juni tacked on quickly. Hoping that Micky would get it too. “They said that we weren’t good for each other. Th-they said that you were… um… enabling me.”

Juni cringed when the table was nearly knocked over, Mick’s chair clattered to the floor as the man stood up abruptly, rage coloring his face. “And you just listened to them? For three years?! I…”

“You told me to. Y-you brought me to them! You said they were going to help me!”

He had.

Juni had been ill when they’d met. Ill when they started seeing each other. As time went on, they began talking about being together after the war. They talked about having a family one day. Although, it eventually came about that Juni doubted it could work if they didn’t get help for their little ‘problem’.

Heartbroken, Mick had promised to help them any way that he could. That had lead him to the doctors. The very same doctors that as it had turned out had stolen his lover away from him for three long years.

How dare those bloody quacks tell Juni that they weren’t good for each other? He’d been the one to bring Juni to them in the first place. He’d wanted Juni to get the help they deserved not some fake medication that only kept them docile enough that they could be pointed in the right direction and told who and when to kill. He was the only one who’d ever tried. Who’d ever gave a damn...

“Micky…” Juni uttered hesitantly moving forward until they were well into his personal space. “I don’t think it worked.”

“Yeah, well,” Mick’s shoulders slumped again, “I ain’t surprised. The kooks...”

Juni chuckled briefly before sobering again with a quiet sniffle, “You weren’t right either though,” they said finally, their face pushed against his chest inhaling his scent. Their face well hidden in the fabric of his shirt as their arms tightened around him. “I thought about you every day.”

Mick sighed as his wrapped his arms around them as well. Already too tired to fight and possibly too ready to forgive. Three years was a long time though. Juni’s hair had grown, black curls down to the small of their back now, “Yeah well I haven’t had Fruity Pebbles for three bloody years so I guess we’ve both got some catching up to do.”

 


	15. me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Stupid OTP Moments w/Micky and Juni._

_Part One._

 

Pyro hefts their newly invented “weapon” The Power Jack onto their shoulder and grins tilting their head in reference to their latest creation. Sniper had always respected Pyro’s brand of engineering. It was much more home brewed. The type he was used to over the more fancy artful work of the Engineer.

“Check it out, Micky. It’s an _assualting_  battery.” Pyro cracked up at their own terrible pun and Sniper couldn’t help but join in.  

“Bloody Hell! You’re awful!” He kept laughing anyway.

 

 _Part Two._  

 

Juni whined again. With their face so puffy and bruised and the dark circles around their watery pink tinged eyes, Mick couldn’t help it, he thought they looked just adorable. He sighed internally. This love business was making him soft.

“Aww darling, wish there was something else I could do,” he said as he offered his partner the frozen bag of peas he’d just fished from the mini freezer and wrapped in a dish towel. “Here hold it there. Should help some. Numb it at least for a bit.”

“Ow,” Juni pouted even more when the cold met their cheek. “I don’t understand.”

Juni’s voice was slurred a bit due to the swelling but Mick could still make out what they said.

“I went thru respawn and everything but my mouth is still bleeding.” The Pyro’s shoulders sagged, “You think it will come back, Micky?”

“I’m not sure. Could be like me scar. Could be another one of them glitches or something like.”  

Frowning, Juni looked away. “I look stupid.”

A small wad of blood tinged spit flew from their mouth and Mick watched as it landed on the table top. He didn’t comment on it however.

“Oh love, no ya don’t. Besides, it’s just a tooth. Not even an important one.”

“All of ‘em are important!” Juni cried before wincing and slapping the make shift ice pack back against their face. That probably hadn’t helped matters any. “I’m gonna kill that damned Scout.”

“Course you are,” Micky reassured them with a pat on the shoulder. “With fire. You like fire.”

“Yup.”

“So… um… did ya happen to save that tooth?”

Juni looked up at him with a flat expression before sighing wetly and opening their hand. Their missing premolar sat in the palm of it. Mick was all too eager to snatch it right up. “You’re going to make a necklace out of it aren’t you?”

The Sniper nodded enthusiastically, “And I promise to keep it close to my heart, darling.” He smiled.

Even though Juni rolled them Mick could still see the smile in their eyes.

 

_Part Three._

 

_…on dragon husbandry._

“What do you mean no?! You’re such a fuckin’ liar, Micky!” Hiccups. “Y-you are a lying piece of shit!”

“Fuck you. I bloody well am not!”

“Yeah you are, fuckin’ liar. I mean c’mon it’s a fuckin’ dragon. You mean to tell me you don’t want a fucking  _pet_  dragon? It’s a fucking dra-gon, Micky.”  

“You’re insane.” Mick the Sniper cackles.

Juni the Pyro smacks him upside the head. Their voice firm. “Bad word.” They hiss.

“Right. Imsorry. Da-ft. You’re  _daft_.”

Juni narrows their eyes at him. “Better.” An eyebrow raises drunkenly. “A _dragon_ , Micky.”

“Fine. It might be kinda cool I guess.”

Pyro’s raised eyebrow intensifies.

“Okay it’d be bloody cool.”

Mick pouts.

“Expensive but cool.”

“You fuckin’ know it.” Juni burps then high fives him.  


	16. ontheaventine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ontheaventine said: #5! Sniper/Pyro/Spy :3  
>  _5\. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”_

 

“Here you are, Cher. Try a bit of this?”

Mick tore his eyes away from his serious contemplation of what remained of his own meal and watched as Juni tried a bit of meat right off of Gabriel’s fork. It was yet another fancy French dish consisting of duck and cherries that the Australian had cringed at the very idea of but the Spy had ordered for himself almost immediately upon realizing the quiet little brasserie he had dragged them to for their evening meal seemed to specialize in it.

He’d encouraged Mick to try something other than his usual fair, even if he agreed it was well done here, but still somehow the stubborn Sniper had ended up with another course of familiar and safe grilled meat, potatoes and carrots. Juni had ordered dessert first as usual, although Gabe had been able to convince them to try an admittedly interesting looking chicken dish first while their apparently complicatedly decadent dessert was being prepared.

If you didn’t know Juni, you may have thought the sound they made when they bit into the offered morsel was a little obscene. Oh and it was no doubt but it wasn’t purposeful. The low, husky moan of pleasure was followed immediately by a little squeal of delight. The smaller of his lovers wiggled from side to side in their seat prompting Gabe to offer them another taste just to hear it again.

Mick wasn’t surprised that Juni had liked it. Juni would try anything of course. Juni loved to try everything. It was one of things he… _they_ loved so much about them.

When Gabe had suggested they spend their one extended furlough together this year in his home country Juni had been enthusiastic and Mick had been surprised. Juni didn’t exactly have a home town worth visiting in their opinion and the two of them had visited Mick’s own last year. Although, the Aussie was hesitant about the whole thing he knew it was only fair to let Gabriel choose this time. Not to mention that he’d known that he would be easily out voted otherwise.

At least he understood enough of the language not to feel completely lost. It seemed that Juni was picking it up a bit faster than he was himself however. They had always seemed to have a great ear for languages. Having grown up with three of their very own to keep track of it seemed a fourth was child’s play to the Pyro at this point.

Language wasn’t the only thing Juni had dove into head first. It seemed that his two lovers were growing a bit closer during this trip. The experience of a new culture were almost too much for Juni to keep their excitement in check around and it was something that Juni and Gabriel were quickly bonding over. Juni looked completely at home on the city streets of Paris. Whether it was in their pretty little dresses or the handsome slacks and suit jackets Gabriel had helped them chose it was clear that the younger mercenary was thriving here. They were coming out of their shell. Everything new had them eagerly clinging to Gabe’s arm while pointing and asking questions in quick fire bursts of French and Gabriel seemed to be eating up every moment. They were so wrapped up in each new little discovery that the Pyro hadn’t tried to start a fire not once since they’d landed.

Mick struggled to keep up with the two of them at almost every turn. He was getting weary of it all though trying his best not to show weakness. Still, he couldn’t help but feel more and more like some tall shadow trailing behind them. A third wheel. A friend of a pair of newlyweds whom they had felt too sorry for to send on his way.

He tried to ignore the faint ache in his chest at the sight of them together but they looked perfect. Gabriel’s tall, slim form had always looked rather dapper and fetching in everything the man wore and Juni seemed to be discovering their own love and comfort in clothing of their own preferred style.

Mick on the other hand seemed to remain the same as always. Sure, he’d made more of an attempt to fit in, forgoing his usual clothes for the things he owned that Gabriel tended to prefer to see him in but somehow he still felt a bit left out. He knew he was being silly especially when he thought of how things seemed to change when they were back in whatever hotel room they were set up in for the night but part of him missed the time that Juni used to hang on his every word like that.

The scraps of meat and vegetables left on his plate were starting to lose their appeal.

“Michael.”

Mick looked up in surprise at the sound of his own name. It was rare enough that he heard it that it had immediately got his attention. Gabriel’s hand was light on his own but enough to still the fork and its movements.

“I’m surprised,” The Spy chuckled. “I wouldn’t have thought a meal that size would have bested you.”

The marksman shrugged and lowered his head embarrassed at having been caught out. “Not as hungry as I thought I guess.”

Juni made a disappointed sound. “But I ordered dessert and I wanted to share it with you.” They whined a bit even as underneath the table a wayward hand curled around his thigh.

“Come on! Just try it! It’s really good,” They reassured, a forkful of fluffy white cream cake and fruit already in front of him. He was helpless to say no to those eyes on him and didn’t hesitant to take the offered bite. Juni were right of course it was delicious. Juni had always had very good taste.

Gabriel tutted, “My little beastie. I am I to always be cleaning up behind you as well?”

A rarely bare thumb reached across the table and wiped at Mick’s bottom lip, stealing away a bit of cream the Sniper hadn’t even realized he’d left there. The Spy nonchalantly tucked the small dollop away in his mouth.

“You are right, Cher.” The other man said turning to Juni. “It is delicious.”

Juni giggled in delight and promptly fed Gabriel a bite of his own.

The ache in Mick’s chest intensified, though at that moment he finally realized what it actually was.

“What is it, mon loup?” Gabriel attention was on him yet again. “Not jealous are you?”

Mick smiled softly, “No,” and shook his head, “No, it ain’t that.”

Gabriel’s answering smile was just as soft though Juni’s, on the other hand, was bright enough to light up the entire room.


	17. me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Hippie Affair

They were married exactly three weeks before  _he_  was born. According to Jane it was a disgracefully hippie affair. Although, according to Jane only a pair of hippies would make a baby and then get married as an afterthought.

Not that either of them cared too much what Jane thought though to be fair there were quite a few flowers involved. The ones growing in Dell’s garden were the same kind in Juni’s hands and in their hair. Juni hadn’t been wearing any shoes either but that was only because their feet had swelled so that anything other than slippers were just impossible. Mick was fine with it all of course as long as Juni was happy and they’d certainly looked happy enough as they waddled down their makeshift aisle to meet him.

But then came the ‘I do’ part and he suddenly wasn’t so sure anymore.

All of a sudden Juni was pale and shaking. Mick had never seen that look on their face before. They looked… well…  _terrified_.

A feeling of cold dread washed over Mick. What if they were having second thoughts? What if Juni said no?

“Juni-bug?”

“I… I’m sorry…” Juni said looking anywhere but at him.

Mick cringed and braced himself for the blow to come. He should have known this was all too good to be true. A baby? A wife? Him of all people.

Juni covered their mouth, swallowing back a sob before mustering the courage to continue, “I just can’t believe you… I thought… I thought you’d change your mind.” They said finally. “That you wouldn’t want to go through with it. That you’d think this was a mistake… That I was a mistake.” Juni said quietly, only loud enough for him to hear.

“Oh… Oh god… no. No of course not,” Mick said, shock pulling the words from him. “Why… how could you think that?”

“I… I don’t know,” Juni stumbled forward and wrapped their arms around his middle hiding their face against his chest, their shoulders still shaking.

“I do, love. Of course I do!” He murmured in their hair. “I do!” He crowed through happy tears to audible relief of their small gathering of friends and witnesses.

“Me too,” Juni said quietly, wiping away her own tears before announcing loud enough for everyone else to hear. “I do too!”

Juni didn’t let him go the rest of the ceremony and that was fine by Mick too.


	18. me

_**And it goes a little something like this:** _

 

Pyro limps in from the bathroom and then flops into the bed next to Sniper. Pyro moans but it’s muffled by the bed.

Sniper sighs and reaches over to rub the small of their back. “Oi I’m sorry, Bugs.” He assumes that Pyro’s been feeling sick again. An unfortunate side effect of the little bugger he’s left baking in their ‘oven’.

Pyro’s shoulders are shaking with something that sounds suspiciously like laugher. And then, “Ow.” And then more of that sounds suspiciously like laughter sound.

“Err… what’s so funny about chundering, love?”

Pyro lifts their head up from the bed and stares at Sniper barely holding back that suspicious sound. “I…” Snorts. “I pulled an ab muscle.”

Sniper blinks. He still doesn’t know what’s so funny. “Huh? Doing what?”

Pyro bursts into snickering laughter again, their head falls back into the bed. Sniper’s blank face starts to fall, it’s catching even if he’s still not sure what’s going on. Pyro says something. It’s muffled. Like they’re wearing their mask.

“Wh-what?” Sniper askes.

Pyro lifts their head and stops laughing long enough to say, “Wiping my big ass!”

“Wh-“ Sniper chuckles. “What?” And starts laughing.

“Stop laughing.” Although, Pyro is also laughing.

They are both now laughing. There are tears. The bed is even shaking a bit.

Pyro hits Sniper on the shoulder but is still laughing. Sniper of course doesn’t stop laughing. He’s actually red in the face now.

“Where were you when I needed you!” Pyro asks.

The laughter continues.


End file.
